She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
