Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
