ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
