everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize