Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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