My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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