They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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