Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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