just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
