How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
