Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
