I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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