You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
