That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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