I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
