somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
