Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
