that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
