"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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