My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
