im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
