Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
