I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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