is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
