just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
