To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm having to shit out rocks
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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