Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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