Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
