I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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