look no pants
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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