one two three fourrrrnication!
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
