Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
