What a fucking waste of an outfit
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
