I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
