Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
