Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
