Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
