He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
