You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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