there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
