I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
