I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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