I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
