Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
