dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
