Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
