It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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