I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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