"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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