It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
