She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
