Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
