3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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