So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You did what with his pubic hair?
the raccoons are back...
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