I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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