Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
