please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
