I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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