I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
meet me or not, i'm out of control
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
