ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
