Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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